Another week, and again I have no single thought. So, I’ll just try to lighten your day.
? A lady was extremely upset because her husband forgot their wedding anniversary. She warned him, ‘Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds. IT BETTER BE THERE!?
The next morning she found, in her driveway, a brand new digital bathroom scale.
? There’s a sushi bar that caters to lawyers. It’s called Sosumi.
? How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
? Epitaph in Scotland: Stranger, tread this ground with gravity: Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity.
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The it-wasn’t-me syndrome:
The mayor of Detroit said aloud in court, at least twice, ‘I lied.? Then, at separate times, he and his lawyer both blamed the media and our governor for Kwame’s troubles. Without that interference they’d have gone to trial and won because he was innocent. I believe he believes it wasn’t his fault.
The Detroit Tigers signed the world’s greatest hitters and starting pitchers before the season started. They were World Series bound. But, here in September the umpiring was especially bad, injuries mounted and too many had off-days. Not their fault.
China is blamed for this country’s economic slowdown. Michigan’s roads are lacking repairs because the Federal government hasn’t helped enough. Other states are taking Michigan jobs. There’s nothing we can do. It’s not our fault.
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Professional golfers are different from other sports pros. Golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play. Golfers don’t hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player’s deal. Golfers keep their clothes on while being interviewed.
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At the beginning of every school year my thoughts turn to my one-room school days.
Schools without kindergarten, when everyone walked to school (2-miles each way, uphill, in two feet of snow), when a good deed was rewarded with the privilege of wiping the blackboard. Today that’s probably a chalkboard.
Days when a teacher could rap your knuckles with a ruler, sit you in a corner with dunce hat on and we had inkwells in our desks, but no ink; desks with somebody eles? initials carved, belfry bells and seatmates.
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Recently there was a report of a 98-year-old lady named Irena, who died. During WWII, Irena got permission to work in the Warsaw ‘ghetto? as a plumbing/sewer specialist.
She had an ulterior motive. Being German, she KNEW what the Nazi plans were for Jews. Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried, and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap bag for larger kids.
She also had a dog in the back, that she trained to bark when Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.
During her time and course of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2,500 children. When she was caught, the Nazis broke both her legs and arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of the children she smuggled out, and kept them in a glass jar buried under a tree in her yard.
After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and reunited them with the family.
Most, of course, had been gassed. Those kids she helped get placed into foster family homes or adopted.
Last year, Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
She lost to Al Gore.