Phool. Fool. Phuul. No matter how you spell it, there’s still no fool like an old fool.
Rearrange yourself while I tell you just one of my foolish experiences.
Some weeds at the office needed their growth stopped. I measured off six ounces of RoundUp in the provided cup, took the sprayer to the hose and filled it to the gallon line.
Then I put Shayna in the car with the sprayer and doused all the office weeds in sight.
Back home, I spotted the 6-ounce, RoundUp cup sitting where I’d left it on the grill. Darn, I’d sprayed the office weeds with water.
So, I dumped the weed killer into the sprayer, went to the hose again, but tipped the sprayer over, spilling the weed killer on my lawn. Now I’m going to have a dead spot in my lawn, the weeds are still growing at the office, and I’m out of liquid cure-all.
My daddy told me there’d be days like this, but he didn’t tell me there would be so many.
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Last Sunday night I had the worst liver and onions dinner I ever had. Usually, daughter Luan has me over for dinner Sunday evenings.
Her priorities got mixed up this week, preferring to go to a friend’s daughter’s open house. Tell me, where’s my daughter’s love in that!?
So, Sunday night I cooked for myself. Actually, as it turned out, I cooked for Shayna. Dogs love liver.
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My Thursday golf partner, John Patrell, is old. As soon as he turned 84, he started saying he was going on 85. He too frequently says he doesn’t buy green bananas. This week I’m going to suggest he not buy any 10-packs of toilet paper.
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Another stupidly foolish act. I often get up at 5 o’clock Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. That’s when the Detroit News posts its crossword puzzle on the internet.
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I’m sure there have been times when you couldn’t stop humming some song. For over a week, this Statler Brothers tune . . .
‘Countin? flowers on the wall that don’t bother me at all . . . Playin? solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty one . . . Smokin? cigarettes and watchin? ‘Captain Kangaroo? . . Now don’t tell me I’ve nothing to do . . ?
. . . has been stuck in my head.
Dumb!
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Ever read the label on a shampoo bottle? My Suave daily clarifying bottle reads, ‘We guarantee your full satisfaction, or we will replace or refund your purchase.?
The print is smaller than a gnat’s eyebrow. Besides, the refund trip not being worth the $1.25, I can’t even remember where I purchased it. I wouldn’t return it anyway, because the label says it brings out the natural beauty of my hair.
And, it might. My hairline is so far back I’ll never see if it’s naturally beautiful or not.
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A guy named John Kohut notes this ‘Last Laugh.?
On Nixon’s death in 1994, President Clinton declared an official day of mourning and closed the federal government for a day, as had been done upon the deaths of former Presidents Truman, Eisenhower and Johnson.
The cost of closing the federal government for one day in 1994? More than $400 million. Of that total, $23 million was extra premium pay for ‘essential? workers who had to go to work anyway to keep the government functioning. They received time-and-a-half for that day.