A woman went to the doctor’s office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told him her story. After listening he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched down the hallway way to the back where the young doctor was writing on this clipboard.
‘What’s the matter with you?? the older doctor demanded ‘Mrs. Reid is 59-years-old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren — and you told her she was pregnant??
The young doctor continued writing and without looking up said, ‘Does she still have the hiccups??
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A group of U.P. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
‘Where’s Henry?? the others asked.
‘Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple miles back up the trail,? the successful hunter replied.
‘You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back??
‘A tough call,? nodded the hunter. ‘But I figured no one is going to steal Henry.?
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A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, ‘We’re about evenly matched, how about playing playing for five bucks a hole?? The first fellow said that he wasn’t much for betting but agreed to the terms. The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number 18, and while counting his $80, he confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the parish priest.
The pro got all flustered, offering to return the money
The priest said, ‘You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.?
The pro asked, ‘Is there anything I can do to make it up to you??
The priest answered, ‘Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to, bring your our mother and father along. I’ll marry them.?
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Church Bulletin bloopers:
? Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
? The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks On Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
? The peacemaking meeting scheduled for tonight has been cancelled due to a conflict.
? Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
? Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
? A bean supper will he held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
2005 — New war, old jokes