The weather, etc. via The Old Farmer’s Almanac

For several years The Oxford Leader was on The Old Farmer’s Almanac mailing list. We didn’t ask for it, but we loved receiving it, and reporting its weather predictions, among other things.
All those years they claimed 80 percent accuracy in their weather predictions. However, 2011 got ’em. They refer to last year as ‘the year without a winter.? Still their temperature and precipitation guesses were close, they say.
For we who live in The Almanac’s Lower Lakes region (Milwaukee to Syracuse and Muskegon to Indianapolis) winter will be colder than normal in the east, with above temperatures in the west this year.
The Detroit area is in the middle of their Lower Lakes region.
Precipitation and snowfall will generally be below normal, with the snowiest periods early to mid-November, early January and early March.
Summer temperatures and rainfall will be near normal, despite a tropical rainstorm threat in mid-June.
July and August will be the hottest periods and September and October warmer and drier than normal.
Sounds fine to me.
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Mixed in with October stuff are these words of wisdom:
? Good management is better than good income.
? You will never get ahead by trying to get even.
? He who is afraid of leaves must not go in the woods.
? We’re not joking; Halloween is soaking.
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An insert in this current Almanac reads: ‘From El Paso to Detroit to Virginia Beach should brace for heavy snowfall.?
And, ‘Areas suffering from drought during Summer 2012 should receive enough winter precipitation to bring improvements.?
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It wouldn’t be an Old Farmer’s Almanac without the editors poking fun at other publications? head
lines.
? Hospitals sued by 7 foot doctors.
? Panda mating fails; Veterinarians take over.
? War dims hope for peace.
? Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft.
? Juvenile court to try shooting defendant.
? Something went wrong in jet crash.
? New study of obesity looks for larger test group.
? Cold wave linked to temperatures.
? Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds dead.
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The Old Farmer’s Almanac does a few pages on kissing. They write that this act dates from 125 million years ago. I think it was only 122 years ago.
The book gives us the science of smooching. Please take notes. Philematology is the study of kissing. Osculation is the act of kissing.
The act of kissing produces powerful hormones (No kidding?), extra saliva, antibodies to fight tooth decay and adrenaline. It leaves us feeling weak in the knees and encourages us to establish intimacy and bonding.
Birds do it by tapping beaks, turtles touch noses, elephants slip their tongues in each others mouth as do chimps.
To cure a toothache, kiss a donkey on his chops.
Some fish press their mouths together up to 20 minutes.
Deep kissing exercises underlying facial muscles, which can help you look younger.

For several years The Oxford Leader was on The Old Farmer’s Almanac mailing list. We didn’t ask for it, but we loved receiving it, and reporting its weather predictions, among other things.
All those years they claimed 80 percent accuracy in their weather predictions. However, 2011 got ’em. They refer to last year as ‘the year without a winter.? Still their temperature and precipitation guesses were close, they say.
For we who live in The Almanac’s Lower Lakes region (Milwaukee to Syracuse and Muskegon to Indianapolis) winter will be colder than normal in the east, with above temperatures in the west this year.
The Detroit area is in the middle of their Lower Lakes region.
Precipitation and snowfall will generally be below normal, with the snowiest periods early to mid-November, early January and early March.
Summer temperatures and rainfall will be near normal, despite a tropical rainstorm threat in mid-June.
July and August will be the hottest periods and September and October warmer and drier than normal.
Sounds fine to me.
– – – 0 – – –
Mixed in with October stuff are these words of wisdom:
? Good management is better than good income.
? You will never get ahead by trying to get even.
? He who is afraid of leaves must not go in the woods.
? We’re not joking; Halloween is soaking.
– – – 0 – – –
An insert in this current Almanac reads: ‘From El Paso to Detroit to Virginia Beach should brace for heavy snowfall.?
And, ‘Areas suffering from drought during Summer 2012 should receive enough winter precipitation to bring improvements.?
– – – 0 – – –
It wouldn’t be an Old Farmer’s Almanac without the editors poking fun at other publications? headlines.
? Hospitals sued by 7 foot doctors.
? Panda mating fails; Veterinarians take over.
? War dims hope for peace.
? Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft.
? Juvenile court to try shooting defendant.
? Something went wrong in jet crash.
? New study of obesity looks for larger test group.
? Cold wave linked to temperatures.
? Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds dead.
– – – 0 – – –
The Old Farmer’s Almanac does a few pages on kissing. They write that this act dates from 125 million years ago. I think it was only 122 years ago.
The book gives us the science of smooching. Please take notes. Philematology is the study of kissing. Osculation is the act of kissing.
The act of kissing produces powerful hormones (No kidding?), extra saliva, antibodies to fight tooth decay and adrenaline. It leaves us feeling weak in the knees and encourages us to establish intimacy and bonding.
Birds do it by tapping beaks, turtles touch noses, elephants slip their tongues in each others mouth as do chimps.
To cure a toothache, kiss a donkey on his chops.
Some fish press their mouths together up to 20 minutes.
Deep kissing exercises underlying facial muscles, which can help you look younger.

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