Where’s Dr. Dolittle When We Need Him?

Back in 1986, the Great Orator as he was called, President Reagan uttered these prophetic words that still ring true today: ‘Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases ? If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.?
I suspect that we as citizens could be construed as the ones that ‘move? and thus we should be taxed accordingly. The latest attempt to separate us from our wallets is coming in August 2008 in the form of a millage to support operations at the Detroit Zoo, which for you residents new to the area is located in Royal Oak. Voters in Wayne, Oakland and Macomb counties would have to approve the millage which would cost the owner of a house with a $200,000 market value about $10 per year.
Now don’t get me wrong, I think all of us recognize the importance of a well-kept, well-stocked, well-managed zoo. Not only is it a sense of pride for the community but legions of children and adults will thrill at the sight of animals rarely seen in these areas. Who can ignore the frolicking of monkeys, the rumblings of the giant hippos, the majestic sight of the giraffes or the prairie dogs that stand at attention while we visit their domain from the underground tunnels? The $10 per year is a small price to pay for this type of entertainment. There are some elements of the proposal though that trouble me.
Let’s navigate through some of them:
+ Why are only three counties involved in the proposal? Where are Washtenaw and Livingston and Genesee Counties? Don’t their residents visit the zoo? And what happens should residents of one of the three counties vote down the millage?
+ If counties are now involved shouldn’t the name of the zoo be changed to ‘The Tri-County Zoo? or perhaps ‘The Multi-County Zoo?? Some will argue that the name ‘Detroit? should remain intact but other zoos throughout the country don’t contain the name of the major city. For instance, the Brookfield Zoo is in a Chicago suburb much like our zoo and yet people are able to recognize and locate it. Any votes out there for naming it the Royal Oak Zoo?
+ Currently the water tower adjacent to the Zoo has the name of the Detroit Mayor emblazoned on the side. Consideration should be given to adding the names of the county executives from the communities who are financing this proposal. And with the legal maneuvering currently going on in the Motor City I suspect that there are some who would prefer the Mayor’s name be removed from the tower. That should also be a topic for discussion!
+ And I might as well insert my own personal pet peeve here and that is why has Zoo Director Ron Kagan remained in place after admitting to falsifying his resume? For me to support his continuance I would want to see some movement from him to complete his bogus PhD. Absent that, he should be removed!
+ Someone should survey the thousands of Michiganders who regularly drive to Ohio to frequent the Toledo Zoo or who drive to Battle Creek for the Binder Park Zoo. What makes these zoos so appealing? Perhaps it is the cleanliness of the parks, the many well-nourished animals in clean surroundings and the park employees who continually smile and act as ambassadors to the zoo and not people who have better things to do. It just might be an enlightening survey!
And finally, maybe we could enlist the services of Dr. Dolittle who could talk to the animals and determine their thoughts on this. You know the verse:
If I could walk with the animals
Talk with the animals
Grunt, squeak, squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to me.
Right now the squawking and squeaking is going on in Lansing and the three counties as the zoo bill is being discussed. The Michigan Senate and House just passed legislation now awaiting the Governor’s signature. Let’s hope when all the squawking is over, the zoo is for the better ? something everyone in Michigan can be proud of!

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