? Do inspectors who don’t find flaws in cars until after somebody buys them, and are recalled later, ever get fired?
? A Cardiac Specialist suggests drinking a glass of water before going to bed to avoid heart attacks. My drinking before bedtime advice is: Wear Depends.
? It must be easy writing commercials for medical equipment providers. They can eliminate lawsuits by adding (If you have any cough, running nose, inhaling, exhaling, itching, scratching, pain, or trouble combing your hair: CALL A DOCTOR!) Butt covered.
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I bought the 2015 The Old Farmer’s Almanac soon after it hit the stores. I glanced at their weather predictions, but found little for what my Jottings readers expect.
I started reading it again this week, and found these helpers: To fight liver spots, sip some vinegar. (With my eyes as they are now, I can’t even see if I have liver spots.)
Vinegar will speed up my metabolism. (Does that mean it will hasten my death?)
This Almanac had lots to say about ‘beauty on a budget? for women. But not a single suggestion for helping we male beauties.
They gave us the odds on a variety of subjects,
Like: I’m one in five who is claustrophobic. I am not one of five who has gotten a tattoo, I’m not one who always dreams in color, I am not a one in 10 having double jointedness; I am one in the 2,200 average golfers to have a hole in one.
I don’t know where I rank in this one: two of three people turn their head to the right while kissing, and I’m not one of the 100,000,000 struck by lightening in a 12-month span.
Thank you, 2015 Old Farmer’s Almanac.
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? Why do cows have bells? (Because their horns don’t work!)
? Is your doctor one of the very few doctors who do not have a Norman Rockwell painting on a wall?
? The only name I recognized during the introductions of Grammy award contestants was Madonna! I don’t think any of the contestants were on NCIS, Law and Order, Wheel of Fortune or The Weather Channel.
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I can’t count the number of times a lead story on Detroit tv stations has left me befuddled after saying, ‘Stay tuned for our story on the biggest bust in Detroit last night.? Why didn’t they say ‘narcotics bust,? and not waste my time waiting for my answer.
? My brother Don was about 17 when he told me, ‘Why tell the truth when a lie will do just as good.? Maybe he could have had a future in politics, but he chose to enlist in the Marine Corp at the start of WWII.