Golfers look forward to the day they can shoot their age. I play golf three times a week in groups with Fran Bertram, 81, and once a week with John Patrell, 80. Fran has been shooting his age over 10 years (and still is) some 150-plus times. John took 13 holes to shoot his age recently. The difference is Fran plays 18-hole matches, John plays nines, and it took him two weeks.
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Every once in a while I get in the mood of thinking of things I like. I like raucous country music where the singer likes his horse better than his wife, drinking beer and havin? fun, whiskey and wild-wild women. I like going to a supermarket mid-mornings and looking at babies in cart seats being pushed around by the young mothers.
The babies may be sleeping, smiling or just looking, following me with their eyes. Peaceful loveliness. Lightens my day. And, when I compliment the mothers on their babies they break out in proud, delightful grins. Wonderful! I like old hymns sung by Johnny Cash, Tennessee Ernie Ford and Andy Griffin.
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I’m sure you’ve noticed when you’re driving your vehicle five miles an hour over the speed limit you never pass anybody. But many pass you.
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Made the mistake of going to the grocery store hungry one day last week. Came home with a cherry pie, raspberry Danish, strawberry turnovers and ice cream, among less delicious things. And, I bought two kinds of treats for Shayna, figuring if my tastes were for sweets, so was hers. Home, I had to have a slice of cherry pie, ‘Charming Billy? . . . sorry, wrong song. Shayna looked so longingly at my slicing I had to give here a sample, knowing, of course, dogs don’t really like cherries. Wrong!
The pie was on sale half price, so split two ways it wasn’t that expensive. Shayna’s half is doing dishes . . . licks ’em clean, she does.
Two bits of Christian humor:
First: There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. ‘Is there anything breakable in here?? asked the postal clerk. ‘Only the Ten Commandments,? answered the lady.
Second: ‘Somebody said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, ‘Good morning, Lord,? and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, ‘Good Lord, it’s morning.?
Some people want the front of the bus, the back of the church and the center of attention.
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Walter Williams, Distinguished Professor of Economics, George Mason University, observed, ‘The rich have always been able to afford entertainment, but it was the development and marketing of radio and television that made entertainment accessible to the common man.?
In his remarks at Hillsdale College recently, Williams repeated reasons why the 20th century was the greatest of them all: Life expectancy rose from 47 to 77 years of age; deaths from infectious disease fell from 700 to 50 per 100,000 of population; agricultural workers fell from 35 to 2.5 percent of the work force; auto ownership rose from one to 91 percent of the population; and patents granted rose from 25,000 to 150,000 a year. Controlling for inflation, household assets rose from $6 trillion to $41 trillion between 1945 and 1998.
Need some put-downs?
Try these. He’s got a full six-pack, but he lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
His wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
The only thing that keeps him from being a barefaced liar is his moustache.
She has the kind of charm that wipes off with a damp cloth.
He’s a boss spelled backwards — double s.o.b..