We’re often reminded to look at the world through rose colored glasses. We’re told to see a glass as half full, as opposed to half empty.
I suppose you’ll have more friends if you’re optimistic.
That’s all fine for the ever-smiling, unrealistic, too-joyful and the therefore boring minority.
However, I think the majority, people like me, don’t see the first robin until mid-May. But, we see the first mosquito before St. Patrick’s Day.
While I was out in the yard reflecting on spring being a great rebirth, I spotted a dandelion in full bloom. All my weed-control applications — gone. Stick that in your half-full glass.
I try to think optimistically while buying tomatoes for my bacon-tomato sandwiches. Maybe this year’s offerings of Romas, vine ripened and hot house will be as tasty as Middleton’s homegrown. But when I put them between the toasted slices with my Bacon-of-the-Month bacon the rose color in my glasses turns as rosy as the color of day-old bacon grease that’s been drained into a tin can. My rose colored glasses are then same color as my language.
Which reminds me, I haven’t reported on my every-30-day delivery lately. Last month the smoked pound came from eastern Tennessee, making it the third state in the series. It was way too salty.
This month’s came from Hampshire, Illinois. ‘This bacon is cut in thick, meaty slices that cook up quickly and hardly shrinks at all,? it says. They also say they smoke it with ‘whole logs of applewood, and they allow it to rest.?
They gotta? be kidding us! Rest bacon? At this writing I’m letting Dreymiller & Krays Applewood Smoked Bacon rest some more, maybe as long as it takes to match it with homegrown tomatoes.
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See that separation above. The hyphens and zero? It’s called a Jim Dash. Seriously! Now’s the time for another one.
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Another ‘seriously!?
Haven’t you been exposed to just about all the absorbency and enhancement products you can stand?
I’ve suggested before that perhaps I watch way too much television. It’s getting so when I see two dogs barking at each other I expect to hear, ‘Will it be the right moment for Cialis?? Or, Viagra or Enzyte? Maybe the mutts are thinking hormone balancing Avlimil.
And, way too often we hear a spokesperson mention the word (punctuation mark) that ends this sentence.
Solve absorption with Serenity! E-gad!
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The early season records of the Detroit Tigers, the red-hot, Wallaces-driven Pistons and Master’s Golf Tournament have elevated carpal tunnel and multiple thumb injuries to never seen before heights.
Like my friend Dottie Foley. She’s certainly the most avid female sports fan I know. The Tigers, Pistons and Wayne Mickelson were all on the tube one day. Channel switching Dorothea was forced to shift her clicker from her experienceed, lightning fast right hand to her slower left because of the pain.
It cost her seconds of viewing and extra time in the confessional.
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Need to add a put-down to your verbal arsenal? How about, ‘According to the theory of evolution, we’re descended from either birds or monkeys. I don’t see any feathers on you.?
‘She could even have the last word with an echo.?
‘You couldn’t warm up to him if you were cremated together.?