Brandon Twp. – For years after their daughter Sara (now 12) was born, Scott and Marie Crum tried to have another child.
After almost 10 years of disappointments the Crums now have presents for two more children under the Christmas tree.
The Crums will be celebrating an extra special Christmas this year with older sister Sara, 12, Matthew, 2, and 6 month old Lauren, born in June 2003.
‘It’s been a handful,? said Marie Crum. ‘But this is all and everything I’ve ever wanted.?
In March the Crums adopted and brought Matthew into their family, from the Ukraine. By June the family grew threefold with the biological delivery of their daughter Lauren.
‘For years after Sara was born we tried to have another child,? said Marie.
‘Finally we decided to try foster care but after a long home study process we decided not to go through with it because we didn’t want Sara to see the kids come and go, so we decided to adopt.?
Adopting a child in the United States is a process that sometimes can take years and, with Sara almost 10, the Crums decided to adopt outside of the U.S.
The Crums met a Ukrainian woman who helped speed up the adoption process by showing them how to file their own paperwork directly in Washington, D.C.
‘We made a quick weekend trip to D.C., completed the paperwork ourselves and sent it off to the Ukraine.?
In December 2002 the Crums were set for a 15 day trip to the Ukraine, to complete the adoption. However, in November 2002, Marie found out she was pregnant.
‘My doctor convinced me to continue with the adoption because of the difficulty we had in trying to conceive,? said Marie.
Finally, in March 2003 Marie, who was now six months pregnant, Scott, and their daughter Sara were on a plane, headed for the Ukraine to bring home a son Scott had always hoped for.
After an arduous trip to Kiev, Ukraine the Crums were closer to bringing their child home.
At the airport in the Ukraine, however, anti-American hostility was evident’so severe that a Ukrainian man was ultimately handcuffed and taken away.
‘It was obvious they didn’t want Americans there,? said Marie. ‘Even our interpreters were against the war that George Bush was proposing in Iraq.?
The morning after their arrival in Kiev the Crums learned that George Bush had, in fact, declared war on Iraq.
When the Crums were escorted to an apartment in Kiev that was to become their home for the next 15 days. The family soon learned, however, that food preparations were below comfortable sanitization levels and when water was boiled to drink or for the native staple of soup, scum had to be skimmed from it first. Juice and milk products were not homogenized, meat was unrecognizable. Public rest rooms consisted of holes in the floor that led to a trench in the ground that would carry the waste out to the streets.
‘Being pregnant, I was really worried about health conditions and they were terrible,? said Marie.
For the next 26 days the Crums would live on peanut butter, from the U.S., bananas, and milk shakes from a local McDonalds, for calcium. However, when they asked their escort to take them to the American fast food facility, they were treated with discord because the cost of one meal for the Crums would feed a family in Kiev for a month.
Once there, their journey was far from over. The first orphanage they were sent to allowed the Crums to visit a baby boy but were then told the child was not up for adoption.
The second agency turned them away because the baby they were scheduled to see was too ill to be visited.
‘During that time we heard they were shutting down American adoptions because of the war in Iraq.?
‘You are at the mercy of the system and it was a political nightmare.?
After traveling in an unheated van for more than 13 hours, the third agency allowed them to spend enough time with a child that Scott traveled back to Kiev to file papers at the court house, while Marie and her daughter stayed at the agency.
In the middle of the visit the director informed Marie that the child was promised to another family for adoption, and cancelled the visit.
‘We were heartbroken,? said Sara ‘I really thought he was my new brother’we really got attached to him and we thought he was the one, but our agent told us we couldn’t adopt him.?
In utter disappointment Marie was on the brink of giving up the Ukrainian adoption process and begged her husband to purchase return tickets home.
‘I just couldn’t get attached to another child,? said Marie. ‘With the last experience we already had that child planned in every part of our lives and it fell through.?
While Scott was still 17 hours away in Kiev, Marie was informed there was another child she should visit who, while slightly sick, needed a home.
Unable to turn her back on the baby and unsure of approving an adoption without her husband meeting the child, reluctantly Crum agreed.
‘It was so unfair to the baby not to even go see him,? Marie said through tears at the thought of almost passing up the chance to meet her son.
Another eight hours further into what Marie said looked like Siberia, and further away from her husband, mother and daughter visited the sick baby, who was slow to respond and had a curious habit of sticking his tongue to the roof of his mouth.
The second visit with the blond haired, blue eyed boy lasted an hour before the director asked Marie if she would like to take her son home.
‘I didn’t know what to do,? said Marie. ‘I was making a lifelong decision for myself and my family so I called Scott and he said he trusted me and that we’ll live with my decision.?
Within moments Marie and Sara were escorted to a room where 50 boys were in three-by-four foot cribs. Each child peered at Marie as if to beg her to take them too.0
Five hours later Marie and Sara stood before a judge accepting the responsibility of adoption of the son Scott Crum had been wishing for.
‘His name is Matthew Scott Crum,? said Marie. ‘Here I was giving this child Scott’s name and he hadn’t even met him yet.?
Matthew Crum will no longer spend 14 hours a day in a crib with 50 other boys. He will never again use a cold black kettle as a potty, will be fed when he’s hungry, hugged when he needs affection, and will only wear one layer of clothing, instead of seven, to stay warm in his home.
‘When we got Matthew back to the hotel he was uncomfortable when we took all the layers of clothes off of him because he was so used to having them on,? Marie said.
‘When I put lotion on him, we figured out he wanted us to keep touching him because he didn’t get that at the agency.?
‘And he loves baths.?
While it’s been a long journey back from Kiev, in seven short months Matthew is delighting in the mysterious rain drops on his bare skin, has learned that Sara is his sister, ‘Mama? means Marie, the ball in Marie’s stomach is now his baby sister, and the Ukrainian word for daddy is ‘Papa.?
As for big sister Sara, she says she likes the journey to ‘big sisterhood.?
‘It’s been fun going from one of one’to one of three.?
For the Crum family, Christmas is everything Marie has ever wanted it to be and is looking forward to toy trucks under the tree.