Once upon a time there was a sparrow that delayed too long in deciding to fly south.
A freezing rainstorm finally persuaded him that he’d better get going. Four hours later, nearly half frozen, heavily coated with ice and totally exhausted, he plummeted to earth.
A passing horse almost stepped on him, then paused and buried him in a pile of steaming fertilizer.
This was, the rigid little bird thought, the final blow. This was the ultimate ignominy — to be so buried during his final moments of life.
As the minutes passed, however, the sparrow began to feel the warmth. First his wings and then his feet thawed out. He voiced a chirp.
Hearing the chirp, a cat dashed over to the pile, quickly dug out the sparrow and ate him.
The moral of this story is obvious.
Those who cover you with manure are not necessarily your enemies, and those who dig you out are not always your friends.
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When I read recently bow and arrow deer hunters can buy suits that mask human odors I thought, ‘What a great idea!?
I have a trout fishing shirt that keeps black flies away, but clothes that cloak body odors sounds like a winner.
Get up late? Don’t have time to bathe? Don’t even like washing? Wear masking clothes.
Maybe Nike can come up with some odor covering clothes for golfers.
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? Judy Garland’s ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow? is on one of my discs. Know anyone who can sell a song like Judy Garland? Please, don’t even let Barbara Striesand’s name be hinted at.
? I live a short distance from a very popular church. When the last amen is spoken, drivers head out onto my road like they have just been given eternal life. I know the pastor and his parishioners can’t be that anxious to leave his presence. They must believe they were given a blessing to step on the gas.
? Ripped one of my pajama tops recently, so went shopping for another set. Set? PJ’s come in bottoms only at my local Meijer and in my LLBean catalogues. Colorful, cotton and flannel bottoms. On to our local Kmart. They had six x-larges. All had blue as the dominant color. Why? Do men’s pajama buyers (women) think blue is a male color, like pink for baby girls and blue for baby boys?
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Want proof on how easy men are to get along with? Let the man handle the tv remote control. Today, twice as many men as women get to hold the remote. If it were the other way the divorce rate would be much higher.
Then, there’s some irreverent thoughts from the irreverent comedian George Carlin:
? ‘Honesty is the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.?
? ‘There is something refreshingly ironic about people lying on the beach contracting skin cancer in an attempt to acquire a purely illusory appearance of good health, while germ-laden medical waste washes up on the sand all around them.?
? ‘Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.?
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It’s that time of year when questions like this seem appropriate. ‘When should a college athlete turn pro?? Will Rogers answered it this way: ‘Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.?