The announcement from Starbucks in February that it would close for three hours to retrain about 135,000 in-store employees sent shudders through the thousands of coffee fanatics in the nation. Could it be that java aficionados would have to forego their venti, decaf, no foam, double vanilla, light-whip extra-caramel with cinnamon on top, expresso frappuccino? Oh, the humanity!
Starbucks management indicated that closing and retraining the staff was a way to implement all new standards for how the popular drinks are created. A spokesperson for the company stated that in so doing, the customer experience will be ratcheted up to new levels of satisfaction. As a follow-up to the three-hour closing, more changes are expected to be unveiled over the next couple of months.
While some people who enjoy an occasional coffee klatch panicked at the thought of missing their late afternoon caffeine fix, frankly I think more organizations should avail themselves of a similar shutdown. Consider for a moment if some companies and even individuals took a three-hour ‘time-out,? or if there were a moratorium on some of the more irritating events that constantly bombard us in the media. It might just provide us with a respite that would be welcome while we battle the throes of a brutal Michigan winter.
For starters how about ?-
+ A three-hour retraining program for all the so-called meteorologists in our town so that they more accurately predict the Armageddon of all impending snow blizzards. The ‘Breaking News? segments warning us to stock up on food stuffs and then the premature closing of schools and businesses before the first flake falls has become so ludicrous that most of us ignore the exhortations because few become reality!
+ Maybe Kwame Kilpatrick, the embattled mayor of Detroit, could spend his three hours writing a resignation letter explaining why he is unfit to lead the city. And let’s dispense with the retraining unless it’s for a barista at a Starbucks for the mayor.
+ And how about our politicians in Lansing closing their offices for three hours while they review the purpose they were sent to the Capitol, namely, to represent the people of the state and not for their own personal aggrandizement while they campaign for reelection! And keep in mind when our state government shut down momentarily during the budget impasse, no one even knew!
+ Commercials for hospitals, healthcare and of course a myriad of medications have taken over the airwaves, and I think a three hour ‘time out? would be appropriate. Do we really need more information about pills that reenergize, and regenerate the male’s virility ego? And as an aside to those commercials, do people really have dual tubs in their yards overlooking scenic views? And in so far as the hospitals, during the three-hour shut-down maybe the time could be spent computing the savings to patients if commercials were eliminated!
+ I suspect many of us will agree that a three-hour lapse of Britney Spears updates would be welcome. There is a segment of the population that unfortunately views train wrecks as entertainment, but the Spears? train should be relegated to a sidetrack where it should just disappear into obscurity! Unfortunately, attempting to retrain someone beyond their intelligence never seems to take so cancel any thoughts of reinventing the career of this mental midget!
+ Are you as tired of the replacement window commercials or the various cable spokespersons who heap scorn on their rivals as I am? Here’s my solution ? three hours of listening to a loop of ‘She Bangs? rendered by that infamous, tone deaf, crooner William Hung for these television hucksters. Maybe the experience will be exhausting enough to discourage them from foisting any more mind numbing commercials on the public. One can only hope!
+ For my three-hour shutdown, I plan to navigate through reams of paper representing application choices for Medicare. Frankly, three hours will not even scratch the surface! One needs a cadre of legal beagles and consultants to even begin to understand the hieroglyphics!
So I think that there are advantages to a ‘time-out,? and leave it to Starbucks to introduce us to it. I say, let the retraining and moratoriums begin! Pass me my cappuccino!