As a way of proving to myself that I’m no longer relevant, that I’m terribly uninformed in certain areas and would be lost in conversations with theater-goers, I read the entire list of Oscar nominees.
I recognized none of the movie titles, though I probably should have picked up on publicity for ‘No Country for Old Men.? Never heard of ‘Juno,? ‘Atonement,? ‘Michael Clayton,? or ‘There Will Be Blood.?
I recognized only two of all the nominees: Hal Holbrook and George Clooney.
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Remember: Don’t insult the alligator until you cross the river.
Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
The most successful people in the world are those good at Plan B.
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Recently, Jottings showed readers the 3-holer, picture gift our three children gave their mother, Hazel, for Mother’s Day in 1975.
Unusual gifts are not unusual in our family. On another Mother’s Day, I gave my wife a corn crib. That wasn’t an easy move. Friend Jerry Olrich brought the fork truck from his lumber yard and carried it a mile from town to our house.
I don’t think Hazel was ever in it, but some of her collectibles, like 25-gallon milk cans are.
The Mother’s Day gift my farm-reared wife really loved was the 1930 Model A sedan, though she wished it had four doors instead of two.
I think my gift ideas came from the time my dad gave my mother a field cultivator.
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Optimists invented the airplane, pessimists the parachute.
Dachshunds are ideal for small children. They are already stretched and pulled.
Bo Peep did it for insurance.
Land of the free . . . because of the brave.
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Here’s a phrase seems long forgotten:
‘Dress For Success!?
I even saw one of America’s richest men, Warren Buffet, going tieless. Of course, he had just paid a few billion dollars for some company I’d refer to as hippy. Is ‘hippy? even being used nowadays?
An unbuttoned dress shirt or a non-collar pullover is more of a style for horse pulling contests, an anti-everything statement or the hobo box car reunion.
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Has all this timesaving technology ever let you go home one minute early?
Some do Jenny Craig. Some do Richard Simmons. I do Sara Lee.
By doing a little bit every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.
When they say, ‘Instant Credit? don’t they mean ‘Instant Debt??
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There are two reasons I’ll never order a BELT (Bacon, Egg, Lettuce, Tomato) from Tim Horton’s. BELT is an alienated combination from Mars. No one should serve fried egg and lettuce where they might touch, even in an acronym. Putting the L and E together is like garnishing pecan pie with a dill pickle slice.
The other reason is I have prejudices about eating a piece of baked dough that appears made by mistake. You know, like goulash, spinach-rutabaga pie or turnip greens in Worcestershire sauce and other experimental dishes.
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One good turn gets most of the blanket.
Wash 2 pillows at once to maintain balance. I did and still fell over.
The original point and click interface was the Smith and Wesson.
A chicken coop has two doors. If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.