Fishing writers will not cover our trout opener

By the time you read this we will have returned form our annual trout fishing trip in the UP.
You will not see our experiences – venture – outing – vacation – weekend retreat – whatever, covered in fishing magazines, sports pages or Michigan Outdoors TV show.
First of all, we do not plan on meals based on catches. Trout are smarter than we are. And I speak for all of us, two Jims, Bob, two Tims, Todd and maybe a Ben. Trout are what I call ‘Mensa Rated Fish.? Their IQ outranks pike, bass, perch, etc., while we fishers all advanced through school by age and sympathy.
The only trout we ever catch have been rejected from their schools. They also suffer glaucoma, have lost their sense of smell and their equilibrium is shot.
Also, unlike people in cover stories wading or floating in streams, seen netting colorful Rainbows, we fish from shores. Oh, it’s not that we don’t have all the right gear. There are no lures, lines, rods, reels and semblances thereof we all do not have.
We have insect repellent shirts right from Orvis, the finest wind-and-rainproof, but breathable, jackets and pants and footwear for every turf.
The fishing-shores I mention are on ponds on a private club. These ponds are stocked with legal size trout. However, only trout that passed academy tests in Department of Natural Resources approved hatcheries are selected.
So, it’s we dropouts against PhD’s.
We all know this, yet we’re persistent. We study major feeding phase charts, memorize best temperatures when fish will be active and scout the shore-lined waters for trout hiding places.
We have all read of the newest and best baits. We all have our favorites, our ‘killer? lures, our ‘never fail? spinners, our ‘old reliable? Rapalas, Dardevles, Little Cleos and Power Baits in paste and pellet forms.
We got the equipment PERIOD. Last year son Jim showed up with a gizmo (fish finder) that attaches to a fishline that he would throw out into the pond and retrieve slowly. It would give read-outs of where the fish were.
Opening day, as the gizmo got close to shore, Jim looked into the water and saw a school of trout right in front of him. Now his eyes have replaced his $69 gizmo.
Forever in a fisherperson’s life they are told fish bite early and late, two hours at sunup and two hours at sun down. We finish breakfast in time to head for the ponds at 9:30 a.m. If we are going to catch fish it will be on our time schedule. We are not after the fish with routines.
At noon we break for a pond-side cookout: hot dogs, hamburgers, cold beer or pop, a few chips, maybe some salsa, lots of conversation about the ones that nibbled, got off at the shoreline and took a bobber down.
If someone has a trout, a half dozen cameras and a camcorder will come out of pockets from breathable jackets.
By 4:30 it will be time to meet back at the car and decide if we should go to The Cove to compare stories with some locals or go back to the condo and get the steaks or chops ready for grilling after our evening of reviewing past, equally catchless opening days.
Oh, we will have an evening meal of fish, grilled over charcoal. But, they will be purchased in Naubin-way at one of the three places that commercially net walleyes and whitefish in Lake Michigan.
As all unsuccessful fishers and hunters oft repeat, it isn’t the sport, it’s the fellowship. But, fellowship is better when you net a keeper.

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