Advising brides, grooms with ‘R? last names

Advising brides, grooms with ‘R? last names
Hope it’s not too late in June to give child naming advice to newly-or about-to-be-weds.
After being told about a cougar attacking a pregnant cow near Glennie, and not being able to find any newspaper account of it, (Do you realize six newspaper serve Alcona County?) I decided I should do the story. (See page 19A)
My informer and confidant is Fred Latta, Oxford entrepreneur and member of the Board of Directors of Michigan Home Builders Association. He knew the story because one of the places he buys lumber is McGuire’s Mill & Lumber in Glennie.
The McGuires also let their 200-plus head of cattle graze on their acreage.
Well, Mrs. (Gloria) McGuire gave us considerable background on the attack of last September, even pointing out the four pictures on the wall of torn hind quarters of the cow made when the cougar couldn’t topple it and slipped off its back, also tearing its legs.
En route, it bit off the cow’s fly swatter, leaving just a stub.
Richard McGuire was very busy working his saw mill, turning 20-inch thick logs to get the right cut for 2×10 planks. So Fred and I went to Oasis Cafe. When we told the lady owner why we were there, she started berating the Department of Natural Resources, taking time out to prepare and serve delicious Reuben sandwiches.
She also told of numerous cougar sightings and incidents, in between words like meddlers, nuisances, unnecessary and haven’t they got anything to do down-state? I got the idea DNR representatives were more intruders, more of a source of danger and trouble than cougars could ever be.
Gloria faxed me a copy of an article from the Alcona County Review with the phone number of Michigan Wildlife Conservancy in Bath, MI. $15, plus $4 for mailing, later I got a four-year-old cougar sightings booklet and a brochure, and membership and donations accepted folder.
The McGuire/Cafe people gave me the impression the DNR refuses to acknowledge cougars exist in northeast Michigan. The Conservancy has all kinds of proof they do . . . hair, sightings, kills.
Not many years ago the DNR was reputed to be the hunted in the UP, rather than the enforcer. I’ve been told the power of the DNR exceeds other law enforcement agencies. UPers don’t like that, and the upper lowers are equally outspoken.
So, let’s forget DNR thinking and go to the Conservancy. They say leave the cougars alone, stay out of their way and don’t invade their territory or interact with them.
Save, protect, and admire the cougar and all living things says the Conservancy. Install outside lighting, watch your children and pets, store garbage securely, don’t feed ’em and put your livestock in the barn at night.
The McGuires should bring their cattle in from the fields at night and barn them. ‘Close the doors since inquisitive cougars may go inside for a look.? In this case, does ‘look? mean ‘kill??
So now, you who are altar bound, whose last name begins with an ‘R?, like Roberts, Reynolds and Rowe, and may possibly have children, let me suggest you consider first and middle names that do not start with D & N, like Donald Nathan, Dianne Norma, David Nicholas or Denise Nare.
I can hear the playground shouts now: Hey, DNR, you’re dumber, worser — a bigger liar, slower, more disliked, etc, etc, than the whole Department of Natural Resources.
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A cow gives 200,000 glasses of milk in a lifetime. An adult cougar can eat 40 deer a year.

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