A potpourri of good stuff for this column

? I’ve had a picture in my file for several months that stirs me, but hasn’t caused me to comment. In the background is a color guard leading a parade. There are people sitting on the curb watching, and one man standing in the foreground. The caption is, ‘The only person standing is the man in a wheelchair.? People have the right to sit as the flag is paraded, and I suppose one doesn’t have to stand to show their respect, but I’d feel more comfortable if they did.
? Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
? Every time you lick a stamp you are consuming one-tenth of a calorie.
? Americans on average, eat 18 acres of pizza every single day.
? The first bar code was on Wrigley’s gum.
? Grocery shopping is not my forte. I’m inclined to shop from habit, not be very observant and rarely even read the large print. As a result I make a lot of buying mistakes. Furinstance: I like crunchy cereal, preferably with almonds and cinnamon. I get it in General Mills Oatmeal Crisp, with slanted printing on the box. Some shelf stacker put slanted printing Weight Watchers Cinnamon Cluster Crunch in the general area of the Oatmeal Crisp. I never buy anything intended for weight watchers, and didn’t even read the box when I opened it for breakfast. What a revolting development and awful taste. It would make people lose weight, ’cause I can’t eat it. I put some in Shayna’s dish, like I do the Oatmeal Crisp, she took a sniff and headed for the door. She refused to give it a testimonial.
? What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. And, no, e-mail is not a good substitute.
? You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.
? Time may be a great healer, but she’s a lousy beautician.
? See where the state is going to raise hunting and fishing fees. More and more often the word ‘fee? is being substituted for ‘tax.? The number of licenses for these sports is on the decline, so the state needs more money to provide for fewer users. Wanna read that sentence again? Why, like when population is declining, is the same amount, or more, money needed to provide for fewer people? I dunno! Must be Gumperson’s Law.
? Now comes somebody from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette to tell me how to cook bacon. At least the sender, Sue Hodge, recognizes me for what I am, addressing it to ‘The Bacon King.? The Post-Gazette writer says, ‘Cook bacon at low temperatures.? Balderdash. Cook it fast, feel the splatter and get it stomach-ready as soon as possible.
‘Good bacon comes from the belly of the hog and will vary from hog to hog.? Duh! Of course, all hogs can’t be pamper-reared by 4-H’ers.
‘Expect to find a huge difference between standard commercial brands and bacon prepared by artisans and specialists around the country.? The only artist involved in my bacon is the one who created the wrapper. The biggest difference is in the thickness, next comes the fat presentation and then the taste, which is always great.
‘When bacon is done to your preference, place it on paper to drain.? Drain? Sop, maybe.
I agree with the writer about the use of bacon grease, which I have plenty of. ‘Bacon dressing on German potato salad is classic, add a dab to the skillet when making fried eggs and bacon grease added to the fat for fried chicken is wonderful.?
Bacon grease is also great on asparagus, on the pancake griddle, with green beans, on baked potatoes, in the fish-frying pan, for frying bread, over hard boiled eggs, etc. You get the idea, use bacon grease liberally and often.
? Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.
* Red Skelton had these recipes for the perfect marriage: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.?
And, ‘We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, mine is in Texas.

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