Talking head, after talking head teases listeners by hinting at a colossal story, then saying, ‘You don’t want to miss this!?
Often the story is a dud, but I stay tuned. I hope my lead-in headline doesn’t disappoint.
But first, before the professional basketball teams take a break, I’d like to tell you what impression they make on me.
To me the huge majority of them are a bunch of unkempt specimens. Many are tattooed head to toe, their hair is braided or left to grow and fly, and that’s just on their head. Facial hair is equally individualized.
Pride in appearance is missing from their resume, having been eliminated by a worldwide belief their audience is dominated by people of equal mental acuity.
Now for baseball pitchers. Before a pitch the thrower has to tuck his necklace inside his crew-neck shirt.
These pitchers should spend less time thinking about some possible dangling, and more time thinking about getting the batter out.
Leave your necklace in the locker and throw the darn ball, even if it’s your mother’s picture in the locket
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Ok, ready?
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall, in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I’ve seen for men. I wanted to pass it on.
A ‘heads up? for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe’s, Home Depot, Costco or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.
Here’s how the scam works:
Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.
A man has to look. When you thank them and offer a tip, they say, ‘No,? but ask for a ride to McDonald’s.
You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had mine stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th and 29th. Also, April 1st and 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So, tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for 99 cents at the dollar store, and bought them out in three of their stores.
Also, you never get to eat at McDonald’s. I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe’s to Home Depot to Costco, etc.
So, please send this on to all the older men that you know, and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam.
(The best times are just before lunch and about 4:30 in the afternoon.)