Does anybody remember comedian Bill Murray’s lounge lizard routine from those exciting days of yesteryear, when ‘Saturday Night Live? was relatively new? I only ask this, because three year old son, Sean Rush, is following in Bill’s footsteps, if only because he walks around the house singing (over and over), ‘Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars . . .?
In 1977, Murray portrayed lounge singer Nick Summers. Murray/Summers sang a tribute to the then new movie, Star Wars. (To the tune of the movie’s theme song.)
‘Star Wars! Nothing but Star Wars! Gimme those Star Wars . . . don’t let them end! Ah . . . Star Wars! If they should bar wars. . . please let these Star Wars stay-ay! And, hey! How about that nutty Star Wars bar? Can you forget all those creatures in there? And, hey! Darth Vader in that black and evil mask – did he scare you as much as he scared me-e-e-e??
I guess it was funny at the time.
But, today I can testify (with my hand over a stack of Bibles) that Sean has never seen the skit. And with that knowledge safely packed away in my back pocket, I am not particularly sure where Sean picked up his rendition.
Well . . .
. . . upon further introspection, that’s a lie. Please take away that stack of Bibles before God gets angry and smites me.
I am sure his mother will be happy to read that Sean’s old man is the culprit. I am now 100 percent sure I taught Sean what he now sings. That Sean only sings, ‘Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars . . . Nothing but Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars . . .? is proof positive. Up until 10 minutes ago when I ‘Google? searched Bill Murray on the internet, I didn’t know the rest of Murray’s schtic. I only knew, ‘Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars.?
What have I done?
Yes, it is bad that our little boy goes around the house, the ‘hood and everywhere else singing his favorite ‘song.? And, yes, it is my fault. Compounding the fracture our little lad also walks around the house singing, ‘Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars,? with the boxed set of original three movies in hand.
‘Poppy, who’s your favorite Star Wars guy??
‘Han Solo.?
‘Mine’s Wuke.? Sean has problems yet with ‘l? sounds. ‘Poppy.?
‘Yes, Sean.?
‘Wook at her,? he oft says, pointing to a picture on the video jacket of actress Carrie Fisher in some sort of molded (skimpy) bikini thingy. ‘Isn’t she p-r-e-t-ty in that suit??
Before answering, I always look around the room to make sure we’re alone. ‘Yes, Sean. Princess Leia is pretty. Now put those down and let’s go . . . work on the roof or something.?
Sean’s a funny kid, even when he’s not trying to get attention and make his family laugh. I’m not calling my son weird or anything, but what’s going on?
How many three year olds do you know that sing , ‘Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars . . .,? while carrying Star Wars videos and picking up on the fact that Carrie Fisher looked pretty danged hot back in the late 1970s?
Sean’s in pre-school two days a week. And, before going there or out anywhere, his hair has to be perfect. He will look in a mirror to check himself out and to make sure he has ‘Elvis hair.? (Not the wild, mangy hair of the mutton-chopped 1970s Elvis. Sean likes that little swirly thing above his forehead to be gelled up like the cool Elvis of the late 1950s.)
And, while it is obvious that Sean already has an eye for the ladies, I think he’s gonna? be a one woman man, like his old man. At three years old, Sean has already informed his mother and me that he plans on marrying one of the little girls in his pre-school class. He talks about her regularly. When he does talk about her, he does so with a smile and a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. Sean has even gone to school, found the girl of his dreams and given her money — just to seal the deal, I guess. Ever the big spender, he had two pennies and gave the future ‘Mrs. Sean? half.
He’s not embarrassed to go up to the little girl and hug her — right out in public. Which is impressive to me, as I didn’t have the guts to ask out a girl until my senior year in college. I had hoped to wait until he left for college before I had ‘the talk? with Sean. But, I guess it looks like he’ll get the ‘birds and the bees? discussion upon entering kindergarten.
Oh, joy — I can’t smackin? frackin wait.
Comments for the worst parent a boy could have can be e-mailed to: dontrushmedon@aol.com