‘Mean? Mary Jean, the tour scheduling genius of Oxford Parks and Recreation, got tickets for a half hundred of us to see Jeff Foxworthy at the Fox Theater in Detroit recently.
You know Foxworthy, he of ‘You might be a Redneck if? fame? He’s been on stages around the world for 20 years, but it wasn’t until he came up with the ‘Redneck? routine in Detroit some years ago that his popularity took off.
In case you need some reminding: If you and your dog use the same tree – you might be a Redneck.
If you put your new tv on top of your old tv, cause you like the wood in the old one, you might be a Redneck.
If your wife asks you to take the car’s transmission out of the bathtub so she can bathe, you might be a Redneck.
Another skit goes: I have a 15-year-old daughter. My wife asked me what I was going to say to her first boyfriend when he comes to call.
I’ll tell you what I’m going to say. I’m going to say to him, ‘Look me straight in the eye. Now listen and listen carefully. If you think of hugging, or kissing my daughter, just remember these words, I don’t mind going back to prison!?
Foxworthy did 190 minutes of stand-up comedy and never used a dirty word. Oh, there were innuendos, but his act is as clean as the 6:00 o’clock news.
He’s probably in his 40s, and he talks about things he did in his youth while finding great differences in today’s youth activities. We bus people are maybe twice Foxworthy’s age and find his youthful restrictions totally different than ours.
He, being in a family of five girls, talks about girl-time-in-bathrooms, we reflect on getting cold on the path to the outhouse then freezing when we get there. My sister didn’t spend any more time in the ‘bath room? than her brothers. It was all minimal.
He ridicules the underwear of today’s children (and the not so young) for its lack of cloth. He said, ‘There’s more fabric in the how-to-wash label than in what goes for body cover.?
In our youth bodies were well covered. Even the strippers left their clothes on . . . so I was told.
Female comediennes use criticisms of males to get yuks men, like Foxworthy, return the favor. Hair is a major topic. He says men would never go for the hot wax hair removal method. We may be macho, but we wouldn’t endure the pain. Men just let it grow.
In that vein, he said he’s convinced men’s hair doesn’t fall out, ‘It just goes back in and comes out some place else; like our backs, fronts, noses and ears. The picture he paints of ear-hair is laughable, which is his purpose, of course.
Foxworthy, like other successful comics, pulls on everyday things that we non-humorists don’t realize are funny until someone points them out. Like dumb labeling – Your Bic lighter may start a fire. If you swallow too much poison it might kill you; This pill may cause blindness, diarrhea and constipation, heartburn, fender denting, toenail rot, callouses, rain, membranal swelling, membranal reductions, itching, tooth decay, an urge to telemarket, coughing, memory loss, arthritis, loss of use of your clicker finger, heart murmurs, fleas, scaling, thirst, acid reflux, carpal tunnel syndrome and an extreme hunger for a bacon and tomato sandwich.