After Christmas break, the teacher asked her third-grade class to write a composition on their holiday. One little boy wrote as follows:
We always spend Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida.
They live in a place with a lot of retarded people. They live in little tin huts. They ride big three-wheel bicycles. They go to a building they call the wrecked room, but it’s fixed now.
They play games there, but not very well. There is a swimming pool, and they go into it and just stand there with their hats on.
I guess they don’t know how to swim.
My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot. They all go to restaurants that are fast. Nobody cooks anymore.
As you go into their park, there is a doll house with a man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can’t get out without him seeing them.
They wear badges with their names on them. I guess they don’t know who they are.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked hard all of his life and earned his retardment. I wish they would move back home, but I guess the man in the doll house won’t let them out.
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Nothing like cold, ungolfable weather to mention golf. Eighty-year-old, par shooting Fran Bertram sent a couple quotes. One of the ‘Top Ten? caddy comments:
Golfer: ‘Do you think I can get there with a five iron??
Caddy: ‘Eventually!?
And this quote from evangelist Billy Graham: ‘The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.?
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Daughter Luan asked me to build a really short legged table for Christmas. Sofa legs came to mind. One store after another said they didn’t have them any more, but so-and-so did.
On what became my last stop, I asked a gal at the check-out, ‘No offense, but do you have sofa legs??
She responded, ‘Yes, I do, but the store doesn’t!?
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As a long-time writer of newspaper headlines, I know particular words are used not just to make people want to read the story, but to influence the reader.
I put this headline in the latter category:
‘Mortgage rates jumped slightly?
How does anything ‘jumped? slightly? Jump indicates fast and high. Obviously the writer was trying to impress the reader, else they would have more logically written ‘went up slightly.? I’m sure it would have fit the space-count.
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Lead the ing life
Reaching . . . Loving . . . Touching
Caring . . . Dreaming . . . Doing . . . Hoping
Praying . . . Enriching . . . Serving
Keep your good attributes ongoing . . . never in the past or future tense.

What sunshine is to flowers,
Smiles are to our fellow men.
From the late Caro, MI publisher, Rudy Petzold