Stay away red-breasted robin — give your little wings more rest before you leave the sunny and warm climes of the south.
Lay low crocuses — keep your colorful little heads buried in the warm earth at least until Easter.
And, here’s a message to all you furry little marmots out there (which includes all you groundhogs) — keep your peepers shut. Don’t look for your shadow. Enjoy your winter’s snooze for as long as you can — much to my chagrin, you’ll be enjoying the bounty of my vegetable garden soon enough.
Don’t rush it, for I have found the definitive portent of spring’s arrival. My new spring detector is black and white and often red all over. Nothing says, ‘Warm weather is just around the corner,? louder or clearer than the first whiff of freshly squashed skunk.
As Jimmy Durante used to say, ‘The nose knows.?
And, I know. I’ve been smelling it for the last week or two and wouldn’t you know it — the sun has come out and the temperatures are getting close to the 50 degree mark. That is scientific proof enough for me. Hot damn, and get out the pooper-scooper! There’s a whole lotta dog doo-doo buried under the snow which needs to be disposed of (or the smell of skunk may be overrun).
Yep, the days of announcing the arrival of spring in Michigan with the first sighting of robins have come to an end. I think from now on we’ll report on the first squashed skunk (that issue will be black and white and read all over). It is time we usher in the era of the skunk.
Oh happy day. It’s about time to get out the Ray-bans and sun-block lotion!
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That said, as of last Thursday morning, TV weather folks were reporting on seasonal snowfall. Down at the Metro-Detroit airport there was a total snowfall of 19 inches. Further up, at the White Lake Weather Station (just west of Clarkston), it was reported that over 53 inches of the cold, wet stuff fell.
What a difference 45 miles can make.
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With the warmer weather and sunshine, Old Man Winter’s fluffy white stuff is quickly turning gray and yucky looking. As the melting continues, keep us posted on the road conditions. Remember: Pepe LePue not only prognosticates spring arrival, but he also tells us it is about time the springs on our vehicles will be put to the test with bone-jarring rides over potholes.
Did I just write, ‘oh happy day? a few lines ago?
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By the way, it is almost Ice-Fisherman season. Soon the icy waters of the Great Lakes will be catching ice-fisherman by the car load, and floating them away from shore.
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The Passion of The Christ. I want to see Mel Gibson’s latest bit of cinematography, but Thumbs Up movie critic Roger Ebert said it was the most violent film he’d ever seen. (He also gave it four stars.)
I am not a violent person. I ain’t got, nor never possessed, the stomach for blood and guts. I’ll admit it, I am weak. I like the Hollywood blood and guts of the 1940s when everything was filmed in glorious black and white.
Dear wife Jen and I used to watch NBC’s ‘ER? television show. Well, I should say, Jen used to watch. I used to listen and look at the palm of my hand (which was firmly pressed over my face and eyes). When a scene got too graphic I’d cover up until Jen gave me the ‘all’s clear? sign. The same is true for when ‘we? watch CBS’s ‘CSI.?
While a student at Clarkston High School, I was once excused from biology class after teacher Mr. Maxim explained how the bullet that killed Lee Harvey Oswald entered the body and how it traveled once inside. The mere description of the bullet’s damage was enough to make my palms sweat and my face turn white.
‘Mr. Rush, you may leave the room.?
All this said, and I am still compelled to shell out the seven bucks and go (and at least listen) to The Passion of The Christ. Why is that so?
Don’s e-mail address: dontrushmedon@aol.com