Since the year 2000, at least 50 percent of Americans have been involved in a stepfamily as a stepmother, stepfather, stepchild or other steprelative, according to the Stepfamily Association of America.
To be successful, amidst the many challenges of being in a stepfamily, Clarkston residents Laurie and David Norris are forming a support group.
They know first-hand what it’s like to be part of a stepfamily.
Laurie was previously married for 12 years and has three children from that marriage — Meghan Wass, 14, Brendan Wass, 11, and Allie Wass, 8.
David’s life, before meeting Laurie, was very different. He was single until age 30, had no children, was career-focused, and had a very active lifestyle.
It was a year after Laurie’s divorce, the two met through a radio station dating service.
“He was the only one I responded to. I knew when I heard his voice. I thought we would be good for each other. He was the first person my kids ever met.”
David and Laurie dated a year and a half and have been married two years now.
It hasn’t always been easy adjusting to a new stepfamily.
“They say it takes five years for a stepfamily to blend completely,” Laurie, who is planning to attend Wayne State University to obtain a master’s in social work and following wants to focus on education for stepfamilies, said. “There’s more issues that can come up than with a traditional family.”
Discipline, visitation, and holidays, are just some of the various struggles this stepfamily has faced, David said.
“There’s a lot of communication and a lot of compromise,” Laurie admits, of battling the struggles head on.
It’s been a balancing act for David, who is in management at Chrysler, between “being a good stepfather, husband and still being me.”
But David comes from a stepfamily. “My dad who adopted me (and raised David 27 years) was outstanding. He was the greatest dad in the world.”
“So he has a great foundation for the life he chose,” Laurie said.
Though there have been difficult circumstances, David said, “I would never not tell someone to get involved with someone with kids.”
“We have a lot of great times,” Laurie said.
“One of the things we discovered,” David said, “is that there are a lot of people out there in a second marriage. It’s much more prevalent than in the past.”
“Because stepfamilies are growing in number, (the support group) is a way to help out each other,” Laurie said.
Through membership with the nonprofit organization, Stepfamily Association of America, the Norris’ obtained information about starting the support group.
“It’s always easier when you know you’re not the only one going through it,” Laurie said. “I think people want to share.”
“Sometimes people are hesitant or uncomfortable. But when there are others sharing, they can then open up,” David said.
“We’re not counselors,” he said, “this is just what we’ve experienced.”
The details of the support group are still pending, like will they meet one or two evenings a month, at the Norris’ home or elsewhere? And will they begin mid-September, like they hope? But all of that is dependant on the interest shown from the public. They do know the support group will be focused on discussion and education, have guest speakers, and possible outings with the kids.
In the end, David and Laurie hope people “feel better about being in a stepfamily.”
If interested in becoming part of the stepfamily support group, contact Laurie and David Norris at (248) 922-3226.
Also find more information through the Stepfamily Association of America at www.stepfam.org or www.saafamilies.org.