Paul Zelenak
Guest Columnist
So, your Village Manager is writing a column on April Fools Day.
What qualifications do I have for writing such a column? Well, other than the wise guys over at The Review asking me to write this column, nothing I guess.
I’m not here to talk about the meaning of life or answer why you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway. Or why do noses run? Or why do they call it after dark, when its actually after light?
OK, so why was I really asked to write this? Well, it’s because April 1 is my birthday.
No fooling!
I was born on April Fools Day in 1963. And as I’ve heard most of my adult life–yes the joke was on my mother. If you want you can look at my birth announcement, I still have it to this day to prove it.
In the announcement, next to where it says doctor, it said ‘Panic.?
I once asked my mom what happened when I was born. I explained what I had read on my birth announcement, Mom – doing fine, Dad – proud, Doctor – Panic. I thought to myself, ‘What could have happened?? Did I come out breach; was I a crier; or was I that ugly of a baby? No, she told me, everything went fine. She told me his name was Dr. Panic. (absolute truth)
So does anything different happen on your birthday if it does fall on April Fools Day? Well, no not really, other than most people actually remember your birthday. Did I have any memorable April Fools Days in my life?
On April 1, 1990, I threw out an octopus at a Detroit Red Wing/Toronto Maple Leaf Hockey Game, which was pretty cool, and I didn’t get caught, which was even better. The guy in front of me did have octopus snot on him for the whole third period, though.
Like most of you growing up, we played pranks on each other on April Fools Day, whether it was a joke on our parents or siblings at home, or the kids or teachers at school. For me, being the youngest of five kids, I guess I was the brunt of most of the jokes on April Fools Day.
Having three older sisters was tough enough on a regular day. If you’re a guy growing up with three older sisters and you ever left the toilet seat up after using the bathroom–well I can tell you where your head would be the next time you made that mistake.
No joke!
I guess having three sisters caused me to have a sensitive side that most guys don’t have. I do think it’s why God blessed me with two daughters. I already went through the pre-training of living with girls, so why not have daughters, as well.
On April Fools Day, traditionally the jokes were only suppose to last until noon.
Maybe you remember some of the more memorable April Fools Days pranks that made (or were) headlines.
As part of an April Fools joke on April 1, 1997, Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak switched hosting duties. Pat hosted ‘Jeopardy!? that day and Alex hosted ‘Wheel of Fortune,? where Pat Sajak and Vanna White played as contestants.
On April 1, 1996, Taco Bell took out a full-page advertisement in The New York Times announcing that they had purchased the Liberty Bell to ‘reduce the country’s debt? and rename it the ‘Taco Liberty Bell.?
When asked about the sale, White House press secretary Mike McCurry replied, tongue-in-cheek, that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold and would henceforth be known as the Lincoln-Mercury Memorial.
On April 1, 1957, the BBC television program ‘Panorama? ran a famous hoax showing the Swiss harvesting spaghetti from trees. They had claimed that the despised pest, the spaghetti weevil, had been eradicated. A large number of people contacted the BBC wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees.
On April 1, 1965, the BBC purported to conduct a trial of a new technology allowing the transmission of odor over the airwaves to all viewers. Many viewers reportedly contacted the BBC to report the trial’s success. And for what it’s worth, the AMC Gremlin was first introduced on April 1, 1970.
Oh, by the way, if you hear the tornado siren going off in the community on April Fools Day, it wasn’t in salute to me because of my birthday. It actually had to do with the testing of the tornado sirens throughout the county.
Or was it?
Happy April Fools Day!