The New Adventures of an Old Senior Citizen

One of the bright spots in an otherwise bland TV season features an alumnus from the successful ‘Seinfeld? program, namely Julia Louis-Dreyfus who stars in the ‘New Adventures of Old Christine.?
It monitors the lifestyle changes of a divorcee attempting to re-enter the world of dating and socializing. Its humor is sophisticated and yet somewhat zany.
Watching Old Christine attempt to acclimate herself to new challenges impacted with me as I entered 2008 looking forward to turning 65 years old. The benefits inherent in reaching this milestone seem to outweigh the downside of creaking bones and other ailments too many to enumerate.
There is the advantage of Medicare wherein most of my medical expenses will be handled by our benevolent government. And, of course, this is the year that social security benefits have again been increased without my having to endure a performance review. So all signs pointed to reaping the fruits of old age.
On the other hand, I have always prided myself in being in tiptop shape, as evidenced by over 30 years of daily five-mile runs and competing in duathlons, so Medicare would hopefully just be something to hold in abeyance.
Well, the first six months of the year have grounded me back to reality when it comes to avoiding illnesses and ailments that heretofore have been a stranger to me. Little did I know that the milestone of turning 65 would become a millstone!
The parade of maladies began first with a biopsy taken from my nose which I always considered part of my panache and mystique. Fortunately I learned that it was not malignant but the timeframe awaiting for results is always disconcerting. So for the time being, my honker is safe.
My next adventure came with the onslaught of pneumonia. This curtailed my running and as such my waist started to expand without the daily pounding of the pavement.
To make matters worse the medication gave me an unexpected yet truly unforgettable case of severe constipation, the dreaded hinder binder, which necessitated a trip to the hospital. Once there I was treated to the Rolls Royce of enemas, namely the unforgettable molasses enema. Yes, molasses! From here on, ginger bread cookies will not be a part of my nightly snacking!
On a positive note, the weight that I had packed on during this nightmare painstakingly yet gleefully disappeared. Losing seven pounds almost put me back to my fighting weight!
Having completed that experience I moved on to have a creatine kidney test which fortunately proved to be uneventful but provided just another journey in turning 65.
Then to round out my weekly schedule of doctor and hospital visits my ultra sound prostate exam came back positive. That put me in a search of a methodology for treating what I’m told is a relatively uneventful situation if discovered and addressed early on.
There are a myriad of treatments for this rather common condition so I quickly accumulated a new treasure trove of reading material. And offspring, relatives, friends and associates offered the names of healthcare professionals who specialize in prostate cancer so I was confident that this hurdle would pass.
As a daily runner, I enjoy a good hurdle every now and then as long as I can land on my feet!
So after all this research and thought provoking conversations with physicians, on June 2 I entered Henry Ford Hospital for robotic surgery. Needless to say with over 5000 such procedures under their belt (so to speak) the doctors and nurses at Henry Ford are not only the pioneers of this type of surgery but they are the experts!
While at the hospital we met people from London, England, Kansas and Georgia undergoing the same procedure.
My six months of agonizing over this ailment came to a pleasant ending when the doctors told me that the operation was a success and that I would ‘not be dying of prostate cancer.? So I crossed that off my list of maladies.
And after a month of rest I continued my daily five-mile runs maybe moving a little faster now that I had that pesky prostate removed which obviously was weighing me down! In fact just recently I competed in a 10-mile race where I finished 60th out of 81 runners in my age group.
The team at Henry Ford Hospital in the Vattikuti Urology Institute are not some of the best ? they are the best! The physicians and nurses and assistants are remarkable. Their caring and sensitivity is unparalleled!
Dr. Peabody and his team of caring healthcare professionals and their exemplary bedside manners are top notch. He, like me, is a runner and I look forward going head-to-head with him one day. I obviously would allow him to beat me so as not to embarrass him among his colleagues!
Seriously, he managed to make the whole surgery experience and the aftermath uneventful with his calming mannerisms.
And a very special plaudit and tip of the hat to Nurse Andrea Simone who despite the time of day or night or the repetition of our questions was always there to assist us. Her sensitivity and follow-up is unparalleled and it gave us great confidence knowing that if we had a question we could depend on her. We know that she juggled her schedule to accommodate us on several occasions when we needed some direction on an issue. There is none better than Ms. Simone!
Now I realize that many of you will conclude that this is too much information (TMI) and perhaps a bit maudlin. But as someone who writes for a hobby, I find it cathartic.
In fact, right now this whole disclosure has elevated my spirits and physical well being to a stage higher than if I were being medicated by the multitude of pill bottles in my medicine cabinet!
So just like Christine I am attempting to acclimate myself to a new world of senior citizens turning 65. Oh, for the days of a simple runny nose!

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