Fans of the popular ‘Seinfeld? sitcom know that it was a ‘show about nothing.? The show ended a very successful nine-year run in 1998 but reruns flood cable and network television to this day.
Another ‘show about nothing? that continues to run in our area is the annual trek to Mackinac Island by those who are referred to as the ‘movers and shakers? for the Policy Conference. One would think that being labeled a ‘mover? or ‘shaker? would bring with it certain responsibilities, such as actually coming up with solutions to the problems that plague our state. But alas, after all these conferences it is difficult to outline any significant accomplishments. Regional transportation and the expansion of Cobo Hall continue to be discussed ad nauseam.
The conference is beginning to resemble episodes of Gilligan’s Island where dream sequences were a recurring theme. The Mackinac Conference has obviously adopted a similar stance but unfortunately those dreams of cooperation among the Big Four have turned into a nightmare. And if you listened closely, you no doubt could hear some of the participants humming the Gilligan theme song: ‘Just sit back and you’ll hear a tale??
Any vestiges of another TV favorite ‘Let’s Make A Deal? never surface on this idyllic island because frankly the event is nothing more than four fun-filled days of frivolity with a couple of pounds of fudge thrown in! And I say that from someone who has attended this glad handing spectacle as a participant and a vendor. Nothing of substance takes place.
If one were to have a conversation with some of the ‘movers? about the effectiveness of this conference, a sense of being there for ‘appearances only? and not for decision-making would surface. I have had that conversation!
Of course the requisite t’te-?-t’te with the so-called Big Four is like the main act at a circus. We wait with great expectations for a stunning climax but we are soon mesmerized into a dull slumber because we have heard this bantering and falderal before. Again ? nothing of substance!
Governor Granholm made her usual sanitized remarks continuing the ‘Seinfeld? theme of a speech about ‘nothing.? And, as usual, Granholm avoided taking a stance on anything controversial as she performed her duck and weave act, which she has elevated to an art form by not answering any questions about the Kilpatrick calamity!
Granholm really needs to take a lesson from John Engler ? being governor also requires one to govern something that is missing from her job description! Maybe it arises from her being a Canadian, since that nation is ruled by a queen and that seems to be the stance she has assumed. Only a festooned chariot is missing. At least Queen Granholm didn’t resurrect her now famous line about our ‘being blown away? in five years. We are still awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Granholm to wrest the state from its financial dilemma, but her actions have only created a tropical depression, or in the case of Michigan, a financial depression.
Her ‘shock? at discovering that the Greektown Casino was declaring bankruptcy foreshadows the same shock she had when Pfizer announced their departure from the state. Obviously Granholm and her team have no connections and inroads to the business community.
The only sound bite that continued to resonate from this party came from Detroit Auto Show Co-Chair Joe Serra when he uttered those challenging words about moving the show ‘somewhere else? unless something is decided quickly. William Crouchman, chairman of the Macomb County Commission, wondered why his county should support the Cobo Hall expansion when, he told attendees, ‘only one hotel in Macomb? is impacted.
There is some dispute over how much money is generated by the auto show, but by any standards many people are turned off by the $500 fee for the charity event preview. And the current political morass in Detroit certainly isn’t helping matters. Now, don’t get me wrong. Suburbanites want to see Detroit succeed, but providing assistance when the city council seems to abhor that assistance makes it difficult.
So all in all, the Mackinac Conference ended the same way it began ? lots of talk and few, if any accomplishments. And why can’t these ‘movers and shakers? meet more often, other than just once a year in this restful setting? And why can’t they meet somewhere where their constituents can join in and have some input? Could it be that they are fearful of hearing from us, the unwashed? Or just maybe the aroma of lilacs, fudge and manure has moved them into a permanent catatonic state and our comments would be ignored anyway.
It all reminds me of a story the ever-optimistic President Reagan made. Seems a young lad was hoping for a pony on his birthday and went into his father’s barn in search of his gift, only to find a mound of manure. Watching his son digging through the manure prompted his father to ask why he would embark on such an onerous task. The little boy replied: ‘With all that manure, there’s got to be a pony in there somewhere!?
Perhaps these denizens of industry and the politicos who attend this conference are searching for that illusive pony, or that special gift that will turn this state around. Unfortunately most of the ‘ponies? (gifts) have left the state for other confines. And as Jerry Seinfeld remarked in a classic episode: ‘Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn’t make sense?.am I wrong?? Let’s hope the ‘movers and shakers? can somehow come together and make this a pony state again!