Two years ago, Shellie and Marty Stuetzer were empty-nesters with retirement on the horizon and a brand new Harley in the garage.
Their daughters Kristi and Shayla were grown, through college and out on their own. The couple had freedom to come and go as they pleased, to do the things they’d always wanted to do.
But things can change in a hurry.
Shellie had been mentoring Jacque, then 11, for the past four years when she received a disturbing phone call ? Jacque’s adoptive mother had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.
For six weeks, Shellie wondered what to do, mulling the idea forming in her mind.
‘One day I came home from work and said to Marty ‘we need to talk,?? Shellie said. ‘He just said ‘go get her.? That was really the end of the discussion for us.?
For Marty, the choice to bring Jacque into their home was obvious.
‘It was going to be a drastic change, and some of our family said we were nuts,? he said. ‘But how do you have someone in your home every Sunday for four years, then just turn your back on her knowing she’s going to some group home in Detroit? How do you do that??
In the Stuetzer’s case, you don’t. Jacque came to live with the family in the fall of 2004, and just two days before Christmas that year, the adoption was finalized.
Jacque got all new clothes, a room of her own and a family who was willing to stand beside her through thick and thin.
The first year was difficult, but as the family adapted to change, Shelly and Marty made sure they were sending a consistent and united message, and helping Jacque understand that the structure they were setting was the same as that Kristi and Shayla had when they were growing up. Like her older sisters, Jacque is required to keep a certain grade point, and do her share of chores around the house. She’s also expected to go to college when the time comes.
But while school is very important, so is family.
Marty and Shellie have introduced their newest daughter to the idea of family traditions, little things like M&Ms in everyone’s Christmas stocking, every year, and eggs benedict on Christmas morning at the home of longtime friends. Every year.
‘I feel like I’m cared for now, I’m actually loved,? said Jacque. ‘I’m not forgotten.?
And while the couple is back to full-time parenting, they still make time to go off alone every now and then.
The couple’s older daughter, Kristi, 30, often spends time with Jacque. It took some time, she said, but the two have grown to think of one another as sisters.
In the beginning, Kristi found the adoption a bit troubling, worried that her parents weren’t prepared to handle a young girl who had been abandoned so many times that she had difficulty trusting others.
‘Naturally you resist a little because this is your family and it will change everything,? Kristi said. ‘My mom has a very big heart. She’s very generous. But this was more than just coming to someone’s rescue. It was a whole lifestyle change.?
But, she said, she is proud of the way she and her sister Shayla, 28, were raised, and she’s proud of the way her mom and dad are parenting Jacque.
‘They’ve both grown so much; their patience has doubled if not tripled,? she said.
And her relationship with Jacque has also grown. Kristi, who lives in Waterford often picks up Jacque when Shellie has to work and said she and her new sister have have become close and often laugh all night long.
But the relationship is not just about fun. Jacque learns from her older sisters, and perhaps, they from her.
‘She’s so insightful,? Kristi said. ‘She’s really in touch with her emotions and knows how to make people feel better when they’re going through a tough time.?
Jacque still has her struggles, too. She has to work hard to keep her grades at the level her parents require, and, after so many years of having legitimate reasons not to trust others, she has to work hard on building trust and honesty with her family.
But things are looking up.
‘She smiles more, she’s happy, she loves that someone’s requiring something out of her,? said family friend Jacque Brandel, who coincidently spells her name the same as the girl she’s teaching to play softball.
Just last year, Jacque was granted the change that would make her feel like it was all real. She became a Stuetzer.
‘When we did the name change she had put down that she wanted to belong,? said Shellie. ‘After the judge had a couple conversations with her he said ‘you already belong; you just want other people to know.??
And now they do.

Part 1 of this story was in the Jan. 3 edition of The Clarkston News.