Finding a family

Shellie Stuetzer wasn’t thinking about changing the direction of her life or putting her own plans on hold when she signed on as a mentor.
As the mother of two grown daughters, Stuetzer, of Independence Township, finally had some extra time and simply wanted to reach out, to make a difference in the life of a child.
And make a difference she did, only in a much larger and more powerful way than anyone could have predicted.
Jacque was just three years old when she was plunked into the state’s notoriously tumultuous foster care system, where she spent two years moving from house to house without any nurturing or consistent care.
‘It was scary,? said Jacque, now 13. ‘All I had was a garbage bag full of stuff. I was abused, I was barely ever fed.?
Around the time Jacque reached kindergarten age, she was adopted by a woman named Cheryl, whose last name has been deliberately withheld for privacy.
Although she was removed from the system and placed into what was supposed to be a permanent, loving home, it was not an adoption that would give Jacque a happy childhood or promise her a bright future.
As the single parent to five other adopted children, including Jacque’s biological brother, Eric, Cheryl was unable ? or unwilling ? to provide any of them with a healthy, loving home.
In fact, the years in Cheryl’s home are strewn with memories that Jacque, an eighth-grader at Sashabaw Middle School, prefers not to talk about, things she would just as soon forget.
But that was then.
Unlike many foster children, Jacque got a lucky break’the Clarkston-area Youth Assistance Mentors PLUS program matched her with a woman who had some extra time on her hands, a woman who wanted to make a difference in the life of a disadvantaged child. A woman named Shellie Stuetzer.
Jacque was 7 years old the first time Shellie knocked on Cheryl’s front door.
‘I was really quiet at first, and I was like ‘who’s this lady in my house,?? said Jacque. ‘But we got to know each other and started being really good friends. She took me to all these really nice places and spent time with me.?
Jacque remembers trips to Chuck E. Cheese, a popular pizza parlor with games, music and other activities for children. She remembers shopping every once in a while, trips to the park, walks and bike rides’it was Shellie who gave Jacque her first bike.
There were Sunday dinners every week, movies at home and time spent with family.
Pop and candy were readily available.
‘I wanted her to have a chance to experience the things she never got at home,? said Shellie. ‘At that point I was the mentor, not the mom.?
And then there was Harry Potter, the fictional boy-wizard who opened up a brand new world for Jacque and paved the way to the passion for reading she has today.
‘We would read all the time,? said Shellie, noting that Jacque’s reading skills were quite poor in the beginning. ‘It was about getting her into this fantasy-land of reading so she could break away from the realities of home and what the future may hold there.?
The future, after all, wasn’t looking bright; Jacque was 11 when doctors diagnosed Cheryl with stage 4-brain cancer.
As a woman already struggling with her own demons, Cheryl had no plan for the adopted children in her home.
The state foster care system wouldn’t take any of them back unless all of them came ? a problem, since one of the boys already had a home lined up.
So Shellie and her husband Marty, who’d mostly stayed in the background during the mentoring time, had a decision to make.
Come back next week for Part II: From Mentor to Mom.

Comments are closed.